How to Build Your Self-Esteem

By Justina Gorman on March 10, 2020

Self-esteem often gets confused with self-confidence. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a whole. It’s shaped by your experiences and how you view yourself. On the other hand, self-confidence can vary depending on the situation and how you feel about your related abilities.

Although they are different, they are still connected. The more you love yourself, the higher your self-esteem will be. And the higher your self-esteem is, the more confident you will feel. As you feel more confident in more situations, your self-esteem will improve even more.

Having a healthy amount of self-esteem is what we should all strive for. Although too much can create a sense of entitlement, narcissism and arrogance. This type of person has a hard time learning from failures because they always think they are right.

However, if your self-esteem is very low, you might feel as though you are not good enough. This could lead to depression, being overly sensitive about things, entering abusive situations, feelings of rejection, and not living up to your potential.

Low self-esteem can affect your relationships, career, mental health, and other aspects of your life. If you feel like you could improve your self-esteem, here are some ways to start loving yourself more.

  • Be kinder to yourself. Limit the negative voice in your head and talk to yourself like you would a good friend: be understanding, supportive, and positive.
  • Acknowledge the things you are good at by making a list of them: everything big, small and in between. If you get stuck, ask family and friends what they think you are good at.
  • Create a positive mantra for yourself, write it on a sticky note, and post it somewhere you will see it multiple times a day. As you repeat it to yourself, even if you don’t believe it at first, you’re re-wiring your brain to make it the default thought.
  • Remove toxic relationships while building the positive relationships in your life
  • Realize you don’t have to say “yes” to everything, and start saying “no” without feeling guilty. (On the plus side, saying “no” to events you’re not interested in will give you more time to practice self-care.)
  • Practice mindfulness in knowing that a thought is just a thought and not necessarily a fact.
  • Enjoy the present moment and limit how much you focus on the bad things that happened in the past
  • Try going to a mental health service provider, such as a counselor, and talk with them about more strategies to improve your self-esteem

Everyone’s self-esteem fluctuates. Remember that you can’t compare yourself to others; you never know what’s really going on. (If you are looking at social media, you are likely comparing.) And don’t be too hard on yourself when your self-esteem takes a dip.

If you feel as though your low self-esteem is interfering with facets of your life, find help. Ask a friend or talk to a professional. has a variety of local resources on mental health that can connect you with mental health tools and professionals in Stark County.

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